RANT AND RAVE
WITH
JAYNE COUNTY

A Short Rant on Religion
WHY CAN'T DOGS AND CATS GO TO HEAVEN?!
By: JAYNE COUNTY
Hey there all you Punk Globers and Rock N' Roll Freaks, everywhere! Due to a short time frame because of my Mom's illness, this will be a short Rant And Rave! I promise to drag it out as usual the next time! Some say I go on and on foreverTra anyway, so maybe a short one this time will go easier on everyone's brain!!! Dig those brain cells man! So, don't cry for me Peru, and get off of my cloud!!! Welcome to Godworld!!! Hang your crosses upside down and cake on more make up than the fabulous Sharon Needles and get ready to STORM THE GATES OF PURGATORY on The Expressway To HELL!!!!
Well, I have always been told by hypocritical, so called Christians, that my beloved pets will not go to Heaven! What a rip off! No dogs and kitty babies in Heaven? What a mean thing to do! If Heaven is supposed to be a reward for our life on earth as God fearing holier than thou psychos, then what about those that love and cherish our animals? You mean we are supposed to be so thrilled at jumping around from cloud to cloud, playing Toby Kieth songs on our celestial banjos and harps, that we don't give a hoot and a holler about our blessed pets!? The animals in our lives that measure more to us than any stupid, idiot, human?!? All those self righteous religious morons that preach hatred toward Gay people and Women, are supposed to be better companions in Heaven than our cute little lovable dogs and cats!!!??? HELL NO!!! I WON'T GO!!! Who wants to spend eternity with those HORRIBLE people! Not me!!! I would rather party in Hell with GAYS, PROSTITUTES AND MALE STRIPPERS than spend jail time in Heaven with those bigoted turd eaters!!!
Oh what fun we have tonight in a no horse open sleigh full of Pat Robertsons, Jimmy Slaggots, and Billy Boy Graham CRACKERS!!! Fun, fun, fun, till my daddy takes my kitties away!!! Oh, you mean those hateful assholes have SOULS and those sinless, adorable doggies, don't?!? Whoops, there it is!!! What bullshit! There's something WRONG!!! Something happening here! What it is ain't exactly clear! There's a man with a GUN over there! Tellin me, that I got to beware! Think it's time to STOP children, what's that sound? Everybody look, what's goin down!!! LIES LIES LIES!!! Guess what people! They are wrong! The BIBLE clearly states that there will be animals in Heaven!!! Or more plainly, as the Moffatt translation says, "The lion shall lie down with the lamb! And children shall play over the hole of the asp (snake) and will be safe! The wolf shall be gentle and the bear shall be tame! And humans shall be CHANGED" So, Mr. Preacher Man! You don't know your own Bible. Oh some do but most simply do not! So if there will be animals in The Coming Kingdom Of God, established on earth, (For one thousand years, The Millennium.) as your own Bible clearly states, we can assume that we can also have all our pets with us! Our dogs and cats! IF........ The Bible is true, as you are constantly telling us, then, there will be dogs and cats in Heaven!!! Whether you are religious or NOT!!! Spiritual or atheist! THAT is GOOD NEWS!!! Dog and cats, CAN, go to Heaven!!! Sincerely, Jayne County!!!