Disclaimer: Jim Rose Circus and Punk Globe do not condone cruelty to animals. Some of contents of this article is considered satirical and meant only for entertainment purposes only...

"The problem with getting a real street education is that you have to go through a lot of hard knocks and pain for the degree. Jim Rose has remedied that dilemma for the masses by contributing monthly to Punk Globe Magazine ." It is Jim Roses opinion that the psychology of being street wise is crucial to protecting ones self, furthering careers and in some cases just fun to know.

The contents of this article are dangerous. Misuse of the material can cheapen an art form or at the very least make you look stupid. More importantly, misuse of this information may result in jail time or death. Do not attempt any of these tricks without the direct supervision of a responsible professional. I know more about snake oil than any person alive. I’ve been selling it for most of my life. Quite simply, snake oil is my lifeblood. Magic, circus stunts, hypnotism, hustles, mind-reading; any and every graft known to man. If there’s a con, I know about it. Snake oil, ladies and gentlemen, is the art of the gyp, hoodwink, shuck, sandbag. Identify a weakness or susceptibility and manipulate to your personal advantage. The term originates from traveling “salesmen” in the 19th century who peddled a concoction, usually giving it an exotic name like snake oil, promising to cure all ills. Of course, it was a big scam and eventually the term snake oil came to represent any deceptive product or enterprise.Growing up in Phoenix, Arizona, life’s calculations, misdirections, and manipulations became a fascination of mine. During this semi-lawless era reminiscent of the Wild West, slicksters, con-artists, and hucksters roamed the terrain looking for easy marks. Phoenix has now, I’ve been told, become quite civilized and the days of flim-flam are long gone. Don’t believe it. The art of selling snake oil is constantly being reinvented, bastardized and ultimately improved in a perpetual, strangely perverse evolution. Just like me. My introduction to the swindle of snake oil began during my formative teenage years. Working at the state fair, I was initiated into the world of eccentrics with a school-of-hard-knocks education in street smarts. In the late eighties, this education allowed me to found the Jim Rose Circus, touring the planet non-stop for fifteen years. During this odyssey of the odd, I became part of a living eclectic encyclopedia.

I have also been to two world fairs and have seen Rocky Mountain goats copulate, so I’m definitely qualified to write this article. In fact, no one alive is more qualified. Much of the information you will find in this offering is oral history passed along from hustler to hustler; con artist to con artist; huckster to huckster.

By capturing this knowledge in these pages, I’ve ensured that it won’t be lost forever. It might seem like a dubious legacy, yes, but I’m confident it will stand the test of time.

The roots of all business and magic can be found in the rook of snake oil. But this is not a “How To” article intended to encourage anarchists, con men or entertainers. Its purpose is to help the brain think in terms of angles. This collection of the strange and risky is not exclusive to Americana. Many of the puzzle pieces have been culled from the weirdness of Belgium, Scandinavia, Germany, the U.K., France, Austria, Holland, Switzerland, Spain, Jamaica, New Zealand, Australia and South Africa. There’s an interesting theory I’ll propose for your consideration. Until the age of about fifty, your head stores itself full with info. After fifty, nature reverses to do some intellectual house cleaning. This process continues until all of the brain’s creases are ironed and polished to the point of not even being able to control drool. One of the reasons I am writing this now was to preserve some of the interesting clutter before remembering it all became too overwhelming. Another reason stemmed from my frustrations associated with research. And my fear of drooling. My research on mind control serves as a representative example. Brainwashing can be explained clearly in two paragraphs. Or you can take the time to devour a 300 page tome on the subject. Complete it and you’re more confused than when you started. Authors are often guilty of turning a paragraph into hundreds of pages and calling it an article. Some of the subjects in these articles will fall under this category. Distilling topics with clarity and brevity provides an insightful overview of the craft of snake oil. It starts with this introduction you’re reading now. Snake oil. I’ve learned from the best. Been burned by the worst. Along the way, I’ve even contributed a few of my own inventions. Come and get it . .

#2: Use the small cape (called ”muleta”). It is a piece of flannel attached to a two-foot wooden stick that serves as a handle. #3: All bulls do not like running into walls because in their life experience they have found that it hurts. Walk parallel to the heifer with the cape wide open, and keep your back to the wall. When you’re fifteen feet away from the animal, shake the cape and shout “Hey bull.” His reaction will be to charge. Face the animal and have the cape extended in his path. Do not move! The color and size of the cape will attract the heifer. While he’s charging, don’t do anything that will distract him from the cloth. Once the animal goes through it, don’t just stand there, but be prepared for the second charge. Move three or four steps back to give you more room in case of a sudden charge. If he’s slow and is just looking around, you can provoke a charge by moving a step towards the center of the ring shaking the cape. You gain points with style and fearlessness. Repeat this act a few more times, then retire to the safety of the protective barriers. Now you see how hard it is to kill a cow. I hope you’ve lost interest. Olé!

Grab the chicken by the neck, force its head down onto a table, take a piece of chalk and draw a two-foot straight line starting from the beak. Let go and it will not move. To get your chicken to stop counting sheep, erase the line and clap your hands close to its head.Reminder: If you have been dancing with the chicken ahead of time, do not forget to remove the tape!

In Florida, at the Gator Jamboree, they get alligators to jump by holding a chicken on a hook over their heads. The alligators don’t seem to care whether or not the chicken is hypnotized or has tape on its foot.

When it comes to a flea circus, presentation is ninety-nine percent of the act. The circus pitch Bobby Reynolds used goes roughly like this: “Ladies and gentlemen, I am a flea tamer and it’s not easy gaining the confidence of a flea like that of a cricket or spider. A flea is a parasite that has been hunted since the beginning of mankind. It’s very hard to get them to trust you. See Marcus and Caesar in a chariot being pulled by their slaves. All of the circus equipment is run by fleas. See the gorgeous Betty, world’s greatest dancing flea; she will lift up her dress and let you see her legs. Even the small are great to those who know them.” Well I know them. A flea circus is just a bunch of miniature canons, tanks and chariots being pulled around by fleas tied to a thread. The way to train them is to put them in a thin canister until they’re tired of banging their heads and stop jumping. The hard part is to tie a knot around their waist with the thread. Some flea circuses don’t even have fleas. They’re so small, no one can tell.

Getting a bear to ride a bicycle is easy. Getting a bear, well, that’s another story! Put a stationary bicycle in your encampment. Bears are naturally curious, and will play with it. In a couple of weeks, they will advance to pedaling. At that point bring in a real bicycle with large training wheels. After they get used to that, take the training wheels off and stay out of their way for a while.

This is a popular betting game on the midway of carnivals and state fairs. A large wheel is divided into sections numbered from 1 to 60, with a small hole in each numbered section. The operator puts a mouse in a cup and puts it inside the wheel which is spun energetically. The operator then removes the cup from the dizzy mouse that runs to one of the numbered holes for safety. Anybody who bets that number wins. But it seems that the mouse always plays against the bettors. Secret: Like lots of other carnival games, this one became crooked. There is a mechanical gadget under the wheel that closes every other hole. The operator checks the betting at the counter. If heavy betting is on the odd numbers, he closes them, and if there are more bets on the even numbers, he does the opposite. Once released, the dizzy mouse will seek out the first hole it can find.

Be sure to read more of "Jim Rose Circus Scam, Fraud, Rip Off, and Con Artists Beware" in next month's Punk Globe Magazine...