The laughing clock woke him at half past 6. He got up
from his single bed in his messy room. He couldn’t remember where he
was and what happened last night as all the days he had been living
for the last couple of weeks were the same like twins.
“Oh god,my right leg..it hurts so bad” he said to
himself….The ache of his heart was worse for sure. He put on his one
and only black Germs T-shirt, baggy shorts, and black leather boots
with a circled A. He looked at the broken mirror,
it was
ok.
Even if the
mirror was not broken,
it
would show him the same as the broken mirror.
The sun was just coming up over the city. He left the
house forgetting the key inside and went to her older sister’s flat 5
or 6 streets away .He saw her sleeping with one of her one night
stands….borrowed some money and left her a note
He was 27….had a band called “Clowns of Dead Circus”
where he gained his very few money from if they could manage to get a
gig of course,
but he
was not in it for the money really,
it was
the only thing he enjoyed doing. He had not seen his dad for more then
15 years
now.
Sometimes he would send him a birthday card with a five dollar
bill, he
never understood him then and he guessed he never will.
From
time to time he was wondering how his father slept with the children
he abandoned
and the wife he beat. His mother passed away 5 years ago. Now as a
grown man but a child of his
own he was never safe and was never sane
That's why he smoked………had tried to quit. But he didn't
like himself when he stopped smoking. He got mean. And didn't want to
have any enemies. He wanted to get along with everybody.
Mostly it wasn't easy. Lately things were really on
edge with his band. In the last three days there had been fights in
the streets at night and the concert hall they were playing in.
Someone had written, "Kill all the gays" on the wall of the bathroom
by the track. His best friends were gays and nothing could be more
offensive to him which mentions that gays must die.
His friends and he was the outsiders.
In the
early years,
inside
the school there were jocks, the preps, and the richies. Sometimes the
jocks would shout at them as they drove by in the morning. "Losers!"
…But what he wanted most of all right now was just to be himself and
be with his friends. Sure his friends looked different with spiked and
colored hair and jewelry in their pierced ears, noses and lips. People
were scared of them at first, but they were nice after you got to know
them.
Today he learned that one more of his friends has
passed away from overdose.
Another one had committed suicide a month ago. "That's enough," he
said.
"I dont know how we can keep on going like this.
I
hardly keep myself from crying…I cant believe that we had lost Eric,
too,"
He wanted to get as far as he could,
he
wanted to escape or re-start a life with equal chances as everyone.
“What happened to the childhood dreams?
Did
they have to melt away so fastly?
What
made the world to be a place like this.
The
people who live their lives like money is their god?
Who
knows. Nobody knows how lonely it is to be a 27 year old child with
lots of lost hopes.
Is
this life??
Maybe
I have to hang myself when I get enough rope or hanging myself with my
guitar strings would be a good end.
People
value the present when its past and miss the ones when they are lost
forever,
right?
As he was thinking to himself and murmuring these,
he
felt the hand of a girl on his shoulder.
He was
thrilled……She
was the most beautiful
girl he had ever seen in his life. Suddenly…the girl reminded him of
the dream he had months ago.
This
was the same girl.
How
could he ever forget her? He remembered clearly now…her name was
Pinkjelly.
"There is not a tree higher than the tree of patience."
Pinkjelly said to him.
They both were just
searching for a place to hide away from the rest of the world.
But he
was a little unpatient.
Suddenly a flash of light made them close their eyes
tightly.
Since the second he met Pinkjelly he had a golden smile
on his face.
Best
of all he was feeling more complete now, like a lost child finding his
mother in the crowd or a flower seeing the sun.
They found themselves walking down the magical and
shiny purple path in the jungle holding hands.
On their way, in the distance they could see this
tunnel coming up...And it seemed like the closer they got,
the
wonderful the smell became....
After a quick sprint they were there...As they took a step and entered
in the tunnel they suddenly felt themselves drawn up into space."We
can go back", he thought. They remained motionless and continued to
float and observe.
He remained suspended
hand in hand with Pinkjelly and began to notice a pull in another
direction. They looked up and saw that where the ceiling of the tunnel
ought to be, there was a beautiful blue sky with a circle of light at
its center. They longed for the light and were drawn to the circle of
light and discovered a long tunnel which promised them to lead home.
They wanted to remain connected to those who loved them on earth but
that time had run full circle. They knew instinctively that they
needed to become connected to the ones who loved them eternally. They
looked one last time down on those who had been part of their earthly
family. They floated together through the tunnel towards the light.
When they reached the end of the tunnel they had become
a dazzling shaft of light and was finally home……….,
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A girl woke up in a cold sweat with a soft smile on her
face and remembering everything she saw in her dream last night. The
things she saw and felt was so real that, she still was not sure if it
was a dream,although everything happened there could only be in
dreams.
She left her house in a hurry not to be late to the
record.store she was working in and to tell what she saw to her
closest friend.
“I can remember a beautiful place with beautiful
colors, beautiful music... It was the coolest feeling; words can't
even come close to describing how nice it felt. I was relaxed and very
happy.” she said.
“I was aware of being in the most beautiful garden I've
ever seen. I felt whole and loved. My sense of well-being was
complete. I heard magical music clearly and saw vivid colored flowers,
like nothing seen on earth, gorgeous greenery and trees. It was
timeless and spaceless,beyond imagination.
I also
had a friend with me there.”
In more excited voice she continued, “"In front of me I
saw a small light in the vast distance. The light started to get
larger. It became more brilliant and it stopped in front of me. I felt
an intense love, which came from the Light. I saw nothing but
absolute, total blackness. In this capacity, though, I was looking at
absolute nothingness or darkness, but my eyes were not straining. I
had the desire to look around inquisitively. What is this place? Where
am I? Instantaneously, this darkness took the shape of a tunnel. It
was perfectly level, however slightly ambiguous in that it was
straight before me and it was cloud-like. It was very vast, as opposed
to small and confining, and was anywhere from a thousand feet to a
thousand miles wide. I was very comfortable and inquisitive. It was
cylindrical. If you took a tornado and stretched it out straight, it
would be similar to that.. I found myself waking up on my bed.”
“Wow,
sounds
wonderful” her friend said with her eyes wide open.
“Are you feeling alright now?”.she asked.
“Yeah, I’m ok, can’t feel better.” she replied.
In the distance there was a young man coming up.
Somehow the man’s face seemed familiar to her.
She
remembered the face not knowing from where but she couldn’t recall the
name…
Now, she could clearly see his face…
He came closer and asked, “ Do you have an album named
Pink & Gold ? “ : )
Written & Dreamt by Brightbluespirit (aka Ozgur)
