Killjoy
by Lisa Wooley

 I told him I loved him

I showed him I cared

He injected me then neglected me

He lives with me in uncertainty

As I look at the signs of probability

He has his room and I have mine

The love he showed before he left for Texas

To follow his dreams which I supported and accepted

Working with Cycorps on ubiquitous AI

Disabled his spirit

Left him barely alive

Completely depressed

What can I do?

His depression is draining my life away too

He doesn’t bathe with blackened stubble

His room’s in chaos

Reflecting his troubles

Before he left his eyes were alive

Now the emptiness

Shows from deep inside like a bot without feeling

Only logic shows thru

He chooses his words from a knowledge base too

And the other day when I touched his back

He distanced himself

He was cold and black

His basic nature since he’s been back

His words have been harsh

“I’m not attracted to you”

 Because you’ve put on some weight

But he did too

I put on ten and he put on forty

I fit in my clothes

But he bought many

I just let it slide and I work overtime

It’s better than sitting alone to grind

Over rejection and heartache

Still it affects me at work

I ran to the restroom in tears to hide

From the people who need me strong inside

who live in delusion he says” he owns IBM” and has 50 jet planes

Around the world and friends in the white house

Who speaks in his head?

And some who could walk with “Dawn of the Dead”

And you’d think they were actors but it’s the way that they are

but sometimes you catch glimpses that they’re here in the” now”

These are the people I work with each day

And I have to keep strong and aware of their pain

Then I come home to the man

 He used to be strong

With love in his eyes and a heart full of song

he loved to go out and make love and not worry

now he’s stuck on a grid in a lost territory

Since he’s come back from working and coding AI

And cyc shut down the database that gave the bots life

Although cyc got funded by the DOD

For the projects

The programmers worked on for weeks

And all of the work that he knows he could do

Is stifled by cycorps greedy few

He doesn’t want sex

He sleeps all the time

I knew him before Cyc drained him dry

They killed off his spirit and left him like this

My dreams have been shattered

In a darkened abyss

He was used and deceived

A pawn in their game

They left a man broken

And I can’t cure his pain

Now I’m feeling helpless

And weak and fatigued

 Cause I give and I give and I never receive

All day on my job I deal with humans

Who are bi-polar and have mental disorders

Now I come home to “Joy”

But “Joy” isn’t here

Just a cold messy room

And  a pain in the air

 

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