"The problem with getting a real street education is that you have to go through a lot of hard knocks and pain for the degree. Jim Rose has remedied that dilemma for the masses by contributing monthly to Punk Globe Magazine ." It is Jim Roses opinion that the psychology of being street wise is crucial to protecting ones self, furthering careers and in some cases just fun to know.

The contents of this article could be dangerous. Misuse of the material can cheapen an art form or at the very least make you look stupid. More importantly, misuse of this information may result in jail time or death. Do not attempt any of these tricks without the direct supervision of a responsible professional. I know more about snake oil than any person alive. I’ve been selling it for most of my life. Quite simply, snake oil is my lifeblood. Magic, circus stunts, hypnotism, hustles, mind-reading; any and every graft known to man. If there’s a con, I know about it. Snake oil, ladies and gentlemen, is the art of the gyp, hoodwink, shuck, sandbag. Identify a weakness or susceptibility and manipulate to your personal advantage. The term originates from traveling “salesmen” in the 19th century who peddled a concoction, usually giving it an exotic name like snake oil, promising to cure all ills. Of course, it was a big scam and eventually the term snake oil came to represent any deceptive product or enterprise.Growing up in Phoenix, Arizona, life’s calculations, misdirections, and manipulations became a fascination of mine. During this semi-lawless era reminiscent of the Wild West, slicksters, con-artists, and hucksters roamed the terrain looking for easy marks. Phoenix has now, I’ve been told, become quite civilized and the days of flim-flam are long gone. Don’t believe it. The art of selling snake oil is constantly being reinvented, bastardized and ultimately improved in a perpetual, strangely perverse evolution. Just like me. My introduction to the swindle of snake oil began during my formative teenage years. Working at the state fair, I was initiated into the world of eccentrics with a school-of-hard-knocks education in street smarts. In the late eighties, this education allowed me to found the Jim Rose Circus, touring the planet non-stop for fifteen years. During this odyssey of the odd, I became part of a living eclectic encyclopedia.

The hustler goes up to the cashier and hands her a 10 dollar bill for a pack of gum. Right when she gets the change out of the register, he reaches into his pocket and says: “I have the right change for the gum.” He puts the change on the counter and says: ”Keep the ten I gave you and my change that you have in your hand and give me back a twenty.” If there is a line behind the hustler, or if the cashier is distracted at all, the hustler usually walks out with ten dollars profit.

This is a short change technique used by crooked cashiers in a wide variety of businesses. It works well especially in a bar. A man pays for his drink with a 10 or 20 dollar bill. The crooked bartender gives him the change with some coins and one dollar bills. He counts them in front of the customer, straightening the bills by tapping them on the bar, then he places them in a neat pile in front him. Now, the customer either puts the money in his pocket right away, since he’s seen it counted, and is sure the amount is accurate, or leaves it on the bar for future drinks.

What actually happens is the customer is being robbed right before his eyes without knowing it. Secret: While tapping the money on the bar to straighten the bills the bartender secretly drops one on his side of the bar, which he picks up later. If the drinker notices, the bartender says ”oops,” and returns the bill apologizing as if it were an accident.

A stranger shows up at a bar with a nice looking dog. He informs the bartender that the dog is a rare breed. He says he is in town for an important meeting and offers the bartender twenty dollars to watch his dog for two hours. Before leaving, the stranger reminds the bartender how valuable the dog is and to take good care of it.

A little later, another stranger comes in and shows great interest in the dog, and asks the bartender if he can buy it. The bartender refuses, telling him that the dog is not for sale. The stranger keeps insisting and offers 600 dollars. He tells him that he will come back in two hours to see if a deal can be worked out.

After the stranger leaves, the dog’s owner comes back with a story about a horrible business meeting and now he’s broke. The bartender, recalling the 600 dollar offer, sees a way to make a profit and offers money for the dog. The stranger refuses, saying it is too valuable and can’t accept the offer. But the bartender insists anyway, until the dog owner agrees to sell the dog for 300 dollars. The dog owner takes the money and meets up with his partner, “the stranger,” a few blocks away to split the money. The bartender ends up with a 300 dollar mutt.

So if a bartender does “The Oopsy” to you, get him back with “A Dog Called Unlucky”!

The Ring Sting requires two hustlers, we will call them Fred and Bill.

Bill drives up to a gas station, dressed in his Sunday best. After paying for two dollars worth of gas and using the restroom, he comes out whelping about how somewhere on the lot he lost his wife’s diamond ring that he was going to get repaired. He frantically gets the gas station attendant to help him look all over the place for it. After a thorough and frustrating search, he leaves his phone number along with an offer of a $400 reward for its return.

Fifteen minutes later Fred walks up, dressed like a bum, and asks to use the restroom. He then walks up to the gas station attendant with a diamond ring in his hand and says: “Look what I found by the can, I bet it’s worth 200 dollars. Do you want to buy it?”

In most cases the attendant remembers the 400 dollar reward and heads straight to the cash register to get the 50% investment.

By the time he figures out that the ring is a six dollar Woolworth special and the phone number is to a pay phone down the street, they are long gone.

People tend to drive more slowly in alleys. Hustlers know this and often sneak out of the bushes while you’re driving by to smack your car loudly and fall to the ground screaming in agony. When you stop to help they demand cash angrily for their injury.

It’s their alley and their neighborhood. It’s safer just to pay the fifty dollars and leave, than to get into a fight.

Ladies, when you park your car and go in to exercise or shop, someone may be watching. He will pop the hood and disconnect a wire. When you come out and can’t start the car, he will come up and offer some help. After tinkering around under the hood he will say: “This usually costs about a hundred and fifty dollars to fix, but let me get my screwdriver and see what I can do.”

After acting like a lot of work is being done he will tell you to try and start the engine. This will put you behind the wheel and unable to see how easy it is to pop the connector back on. When the car starts he will try to get twenty dollars for his time or a date or both.

Another unscrupulous way that the slime meet girls is by running secretarial help wanted ads with very high pay and stating “must be able to travel.” It’s the travel part that lets them know you are probably single.

This scam requires 2 people working together. One goes into a bar and strikes up a conversations with somebody. The other acts like a drunk and stays outside. The drunk walks in later and becomes part of the conversation without acting like any of them know each other.

The drunk acts surly. He offers to flip pennies for a drink. The two “evens” have to buy the “odd” a drink. While the drunk isn’t looking, the hustler tells the victim: ”This guy is so drunk, he doesn’t know what’s going on. You flip first, the drunk second and I’ll flip third. It doesn’t matter what I flip because he’s too drunk to see. So I’ll call whatever is needed for one of us to win. Let’s have some fun with this guy and get some free drinks.”

Of course the fake drunk is conveniently out of ear shot while his partner is telling the victim how to win. The drunk loses along with the victim, so they pitch into buying the hustler his drink. While the drunk goes into the bathroom as planned, the hustler says to the victim: “See how easy it was?” and gives him his money back. When the drunk returns, he pulls out a wad of cash and challenges them to a bet. The hustler whispers to the victim that they will split the winnings. Sure enough, the hustler is the “odd” man. The drunk and the victim pay up. The hustler winks at the victim and motions for them to go outside.

Just when they start to split the money, the drunk walks out and says: ”Hey you two are con men. You cheated me out of my money. I’m going to call the police.” The hustler says: “No, no, don’t call the cops, we just met at the same time you walked up.” The drunk: “Well then, you walk on out of here, and I will stay with your friend for a few minutes to make sure.” The hustler agrees and whispers to the victim that he will be back in thirty minutes to split the money with him.

The drunk walking out at the perfect time is the “blow off.” The “blow off” is used to give the guy with the money the time to get away. The story ends when the fake drunk meets up with the hustler to split the victim’s money.

As with most cons, the mark thought he saw an opportunity for easy cash but instead he got cheated. There is some truth in the old saying: ”You can’t cheat an honest man.”

Ever been really hungry for steak and lobster, but didn’t think you could afford it? Some people never worry about money. They don’t dine and dash unless there’s an open window in the bathroom. They are far more clever and have a plan.

For example: The hustler sits down, eats dinner and gets the check. When no one is looking, he puts the check in his pocket, stands up and acts like he sees something on the floor. He bends over and “finds” a ring under his table. He goes to the people sitting closest and says: “I just found this ring under my table. I’m going to give it to the manager in case someone comes back to claim it. I’m going to point where I found it. When you see me pointing to you, just wave so he knows the area where the ring was found.”

The hustler secretly puts the ring back into his pocket and walks up to the host. He talks for a minute about the weather or something, and says: “Those nice people are picking up my check.” When he points to the people who were sitting by him, they wave back. Then the con artist walks out with a free dinner in his stomach.

This next “belly buster” takes two people. The first person walks in to a Denny’s, sits at the counter and orders a steak dinner. A few minutes later his friend walks in and sits next to him and orders a cup of coffee. They act like they don’t know each other. When no one is looking, they switch checks. The person who ate the steak dinner takes the coffee check to the cashier, pays for it and walks out. After he has had enough time to get away, the coffee drinker turns his steak dinner check over and complains that all he had was coffee. He refuses to pay for a steak dinner he did not eat. The two hustlers meet up later and go to another restaurant and reverse the roles so they can both have a free meal.

To some these methods are too troublesome. They prefer going to the post office to pick up their free goods instead. First, they write down the customer service addresses of all the products they use. Then they send complaint letters to each of them. It’s usually standard practice for the companies to settle the grievance by sending a free coupon to replace the faulty product.

It’s painfully obvious that most panhandlers are destitute and living the existence of our nightmares: derelicts, addicts, or victims of horrible luck barely scraping by. Their only moments of peace are their nightly naps in the gutter. These poor souls should be helped as much as possible. Unfortunately, a lot of well intended donations get into the wrong hands. A good panhandler can make six figures. One sure way is to have a female partner. He then approaches people with a hard luck story connected with his new bride who is now two months pregnant.

Another old trick they use is to rub globs of vaseline in their eye lashes and act blind. The New York police call them “blinkies.”

The hustler goes to a dry cleaning establishment. When the cleaner turns his head, he reaches over the counter and steals his receipt book. Once outside he writes, “$19.95 Stain Removal Sweater,” on a receipt.

He then goes to a restaurant with a story about his wife who had been in a week ago. She got mustard on her new sweater, and the waitress told her to get it cleaned and bring back the receipt. He acts embarrassed because his wife is making him do this.

Since the receipt is under twenty dollars, they usually give him the money. Hustlers have been known to scam as many as five restaurants an hour.

Be sure to read more of "Jim Rose Circus Scam, Fraud, Rip Off, and Con Artists Beware" in next month's Punk Globe Magazine...

Copyright 2005 by Jim Rose
www.JimRoseCircus.com