Well, this is the first time this has ever happened. I mean, I don't like to talk about myself too much. Well, of course I do...everyone does.
What I meant was, I've never felt quite as compelled to disclose quite so much personal information as I am about to here and now. Please bear with me.
You see, I was born with a very rare, very tragic genetic abnormality. Sad, but true. I came into this world with three thumbs. Yes, three.
My mother counted them thrice. OK, so three. That means I had to have special shoelaces, special cutlery...all of that stupid human crap had to be
special for me. It's not all bad, I of course naturally excel at hitchhiking and rubber band wars. Whatever. Anyways, after listening to this new
release from Doggy Style I had the great displeasure of having all three point south. Yup, they're like divining rods to nowhere like that. Sure,
there's some people on it and there is definitely a target audience for any damn fool thing anyone wants to release, but the thumbs have spoken and
that's that. On the bright side, at least I'm not Caligula and this is not Rome. Everyone gets to keep their head. And I should/will likewise keep
the hell away from the orange curtain. Cheers!
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