Happy New Year, punks and punkettes!! If the mayan calendar theory is correct, lets party like it's 1999 and make this trip count,k? Grab a glass of leftover bubbly from your new years eve party (you know, the one without the cigarette butts floating in it) and let's talk about how we're gonna make the most of each day.

I know that last month I mentioned I would do an article in january about kids and dumb ass parents but I decided to start the 2012 without being the raving, screaming, cynic bitch that I am and perhaps take you to a gentler time and journey (i.e. next month i'll be back to balls to the walls in your face, k? k. :) )

If any of you are old enough to remember the 70's or your folks told you about them, you might have heard about this record and poster everyone with a flower in their hair or peace sign necklace on their body had, called "The Desiderata".

Written by max ehrmann in 1927, while more than likely sitting in an opium den or puffin on a hookah, Mr Max penned this poem to inspire people to 'put a little love in your hearts' and all that other granola based ideology to bring perhaps a more peaceful universe to our tables.

It's a very beautiful sentiment, and at this time of our lives when the world seems like one big cesspool of clusterfuck, it just might not hurt us to maybe reflect. For those of you who might be a little confuzzled or still trying to stuff the reminents of your christmas tree in your bong, I will provide the "translation" to the meaning of the verses. My translations will follow in the brackets behind the statement. Got that? Ok here we go....

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. (translation: don't let your ego or your alligator ass overload your hummingbird mouth! drop the insults, the slurs, the racial slams and verbal diarrhea and try a gentle voice and nature instead. everyone has a story and we might just learn a thing or two if we quit pissing people off!)

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. (translation: we are no better than the next person, race, religion, class or country. each and everyone of us is just another lonely little oil stain on the highway of life. if you have to run around and tell everyone who will give you the time of day how great/rich/cute/sexy/poweful you are, chances are you are none of the above. don't believe me; ask your mom!)

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. (translation: no matter what half cocked reality tv show tells you how to score love/marriage/sex, etc., dont be a dumbass and take the media's word as gospel as to what is attractive, beautiful, the "norm" and so on. interaction with people is a gift; time is fleeting. draw your advice and wisdom from those who "get it" and work from there. love with your heart and your head and not your naughty parts...they have different ideas what "love" is.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. (translation: no one said life was gonna be easy..some days are diamonds, some days are dog shit...period. we are often times our own worst enemies when it comes to being the person we want to be. accept the fact we all fuck up...that's right, everyone does. but with every fuck up we encounter, we learn about our strentghs, our courage, our ability to dream and next time we won't be so cow assed stupid. besides, if you think people enjoy listening to someone piss and moan and go on and on about "oh poor me", guess again. we tuned you out the moment we made the fatal mistake of asking, "so, how are you?".)

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

(Translation: don't sweat the petty shit. humans are just that and if you remember your youth, you had to learn to crawl before you could stand up and run. Each and everyone of us could have a shittier life than what we bitch about now. If you are reading this; you didn't die of cancer, weren't killed in a senseless war, didn't end up starving to death in the cold of a cardboard box, and had the priviledge, and, yes, the blessing, of being able to read, comprehend and sit at your computer kicking back while time marches on.)

Being a happy camper is as easy as you make it for yourself and others. now go and enjoy the new year and let whatever psychosis and bitchiness you walowed in in the past be yesterday's memories. it truly is an amazing, beautiful world.